my world. my thoughts. my journeys.
Posts tagged Vipassana
The Actual Technique
Aug 16th
The Vipassana technique is a 2500 year-old, non-religious technique of self-purification through meditation. I knew absolutely nothing about it before going, but quickly found myself intrigued and curious. The goal is to eradicate misery in your own life by learning to observe sensations in the body.
A lot of Buddhist ideology focuses on getting rid of misery through the elimination of craving, aversion and hatred in one’s life. What’s unique about Vipassana is that it does so by fusing this philosophy with irrefutable scientific facts about the human body and the laws of nature. Modern scientists have since validated these facts, it just took a millennium or two.
Because it is more scientifically based, it has no affiliation or requirement for religious belief. It is simply a method of training the mind to not crave or hate, through the law of impermanence, which basically means that any sensation, pleasant or unpleasant, will always dissipate. During meditation sessions, one tunes him or herself to the sensations present in the body. It might be something like an itch or a pain, or something like a subtle buzzing or tingling. For those that are unpleasant, you train yourself not to react with hatred. For the pleasant, you train yourself not to react with craving. Because the sensations are impermanent, not reacting forces one to accept the reality of the present moment and none other.
As you train your mind more and more with the subtle sensations, you begin to subconscious continue this trend of “living in the moment”, and no longer have the habit of developing misery subconsciously through reactions of craving and hatred.
It took me a little while to wrap my mind around the concept, but after watching our lectures and spending time tossing the ideas around in my head, I came to understand and be intrigued by the practice. Even after 10 days, I am nowhere near full understanding of the technique, but if anything, I’ve found that it never hurts to take time away from the stress and pace of daily life and focus on living in the present moment.
My life as a monk
Aug 1st
I have emerged from 10 days of Vipassana meditation!!! What can I say about 10 days of 4am wake up calls, 10 hours of meditation a day, silence and complete detachment from the outside world? If I had wanted to make a call I couldn’t, no computers, no wifi — it was like existing as an adult in a cellphone-less, less connected world as an adult, something I’ve never done!
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In some ways, I feel like I took a long nap after arriving in Delhi and the course was a dream. Perhaps this is the effect of a complete and immediate re-entry to the colorful chaos that is New Delhi, or perhaps it’s the dream -like, contemplative, state of isolation I was in for the last 10 days. The beginning of this noble, enlightening path was the least bit smooth, and it’s route was dotted with potholes, some hilarious, some more challenging.
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I arrived in the afternoon the day before the program, only to find out that I had arrived at the office in downtown Delhi, not the peaceful meditation center in the next state. I’m not going to lie, upon reaching the office, I was beginning to wonder how I was going to meditate in a loud, Delhi high rise, but thankfully the actual destination was reachable by taxi. Minor crisis averted.
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But then I arrive late to the center, and sit in the back of the orientation. The tape recording (yes tape, not CD or mp3) was babbling in unintelligible Hindi, followed by equally unintelligible English. I heard words like “meditation”, “Dhamma”, “discipline”, “silence” but had no clue what was actually going on. I thought to myself, isn’t anyone else lost here? Then I realized almost the entire room was full of bright saris, sparkles and silver bangles. There was barely a handful of foreigners out of almost 100 participants. I had hoped for non-touristy and authentic (google couldn’t guarantee that when I searched at home), and I definitely got my wish. Within 20 minutes of this orientation, it was over and we headed to the hall to meditate and begin noble silence. I thought to myself: Wait, I’m here because I dont know how to meditate? And wait, I don’t have even one night to talk? Can’t I have another hour??
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Noble silence meant that participants would not speak to or communicate with each other in any way, whether it be speaking, writing, gestures, or otherwise. Certain times you could ask the teacher questions, otherwise you were silent. I could count the words I said on each day on one hand, and I never broke noble silence..
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Ok I broke it one time.. But on day 9 (silence ended day 10 at 10 am)… And only because a monkey jumped on me, which I considered an extenuating circumstance warranting a word or two or five with a fellow participant.
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The culprit:
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Anyway, in addition to the monkey pothole, I managed to completely wipe out outside the meditation hall one slippery rainy morning (I laughed then, but didn’t talk), I tripped over a doormat (and remained mostly silent), and a gecko pooped on my flip flop (no big deal). I also (mostly) abided by the “no killing” rule, feeling absolutely horrible upon killing my first mosquito. It was hard to maintain this “compassion” for mosquitos, and after a few days I bent the rule. So long as mosquitos stayed outside my net, no killing, those inside were kill-able. I stopped counting after 10 because I still felt bad, but I don’t think I killed more than 15 over 10 days. If you had seen the gajillions of mosquitos with whom I learned to live in peace, you would understand how much I held back from mass execution. Oh, and once I accidentally decapitated a big ant in an effort to get it off my bed. And yes, I felt bad.
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Perhaps the biggest frustration was that my luggage was lost from China, so for 10 days I survived with 2 shirts, one skirt, 2 pairs of underwear, no shampoo, and no way to tell anyone my problem. The airline had said tomorrow the first day, then in 2-3 days, then I gave up. I assumed “we still haven’t found it” after 2 weeks is polite airline talk for “it’s gone”. Besides, the lack of luggage made it easier to embrace my 10 days living the life of a monk.
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More potholes and pitfalls came in the duration and challenges of meditation, even just sitting upwards of 10 hours a day is tough, let alone calming my “wild mind” as the teacher said. It was absurd, yet fascinating, bizarre, yet amazing to see where my mind would go. I have an experiment for you: close your eyes for 30 seconds and try to focus only on following your breathing.
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Did your mind wander? Mine did. Hour after hour. It wandered and sometimes it took 20 minutes to realize I was deep in some strange land or revisiting some deep childhood memory or making grand plans for the future. I absentmindedly thought of scenarios that could have made me millions as a Hollywood film, or were so strange that I was left baffled by the mysteries of my own mind. I did get better at focusing over time, but I did wish at times I could’ve made notes of what I had been thinking because now, just like a dream a few hours after waking up, most have faded out of my memory.
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I had varying points of success with the technique over 10 days (more of the technique and philosophy in another post), but I was intrigued and at one point even felt the electric buzzing sensations I had read before about meditation. By the end I could sit for one hour without moving (mind still wandered from time to time though). I am definitely no guru, but I understand how to improve into the future.
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By day 8, I was pretty tired of meditating. I had considered leaving a few times, but never very seriously. Although I had never talked to any of my fellow meditators, I grew more and more curious at their identities, their stories, and their motivation to survive the course. From the older blind Indian woman who was led in for every session, to the young Indian girls, to my fellow foreigners.
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The antsy nature and curiosity of others by the end was palpable by the tenth day. When the silence broke, it took about 30 seconds for everyone to rediscover their voice box and then the chatter never stopped. I had felt connections to some despite our lack of conversation, or made assumptions about others and finally had a chance to talk. It became a lovely day and despite the relative brevity of our interactions, there was a greater mutual respect and understanding cemented by the course.
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I do want to continue meditating (after a few days off), but I am sold on its value, and think it’s a fascinating exercise. The silence was valuable as it kept the process very personal. No relying on others, no seeking reassurance, no comparison to the progress of others. I will explain more about Vipassana to justify my recommendation for others to try it, but I wanted to share a bit of my experience first.
